General Teddy Bear Abed

should I be feeling this way?

2008-09-11T22:28:22Z

So yesterday I took the test to become a "Licensed Master of Social Work" (LMSW for short) and I did not pass. I felt prepared. I felt I understood everything I should know for the test. Hell, I even did decently on the practice tests I took, getting less than 20% wrong.

See, I am not the type of person that gets hung up on things, I usually get over things pretty well. Me not doing so well, I'm over it. I see it as a disguise that I should have taken more time to make sure that I was prepared. But what I can't get over so quickly is the feeling of being depressed since the end of June. Sure, I've had some good times, but overall not so great.
Job search has been sucking major balls - everyone says "You're great, but we found someone with more experience."
Parents (especially mother) - Not Helping! Not support there as usual, though daddy is supportive in the job search, so he not so much.
Money in da bank - slowly dwindling.

Le sigh. Maybe I should put a sign around my neck "Will clean for money."

My own personal fog

2008-08-13T23:06:23Z

I feel like I have been in my own personal fog lately. I've been contributing it to the fact that I'm at home, not making much money (well, barely at all if anything) and I just haven't had anything positive since my trip to Maine back in July. Even before then, I had such a great interview and right now, nothing back from them.

It is sad to say that this world has no clue what they are missing out when they do not hire me. I mean I know I can't get a job I am not qualified for, but for those that I am, it is their loss.

I know it isn't rejection getting me because that I can handle. It's not like I haven't gotten a rejection from other jobs, or even universities for that matter, before. A slight depression is all I can associate these feelings to at the moment; these feelings of sadness, going nowhere. ::sigh:: Què sera, sera i guess.

Has it been a year since I last posted?

2008-08-13T04:46:46Z

It's been a year almost since I last posted here. Time flies when you're busy getting a degree and then trying to find a job. and that right there is my current hell, I am trying to find a job. Since June, I have only been working per diem at where I was interning and I'm starting to get pissed off / depressed about it. I got bills, student loans and want to finally have my own place. :::sigh::: I guess I have to wait it out. I just hope it hurries the fuck up.

days go by . . . .

2007-09-25T16:37:33Z

Well, it has been awhile since I have posted, but I have been uber-busy and my mind is jammed packed with info. I do not have a day off, yet again. Le sigh. Let's see if I can survive another year, though I do believe I will survive.

at work

2007-09-10T01:17:11Z

At work right now. It's 9:15pm and I don'have much to do at the moment. Feeling a bit tired since I got stuck here for a double yesterday and today since we have absolutely no staff. School has started again. So, no time to take a vacation since I can' miss more than 3 classes. Don't feel like wasting one on a vacation.

All well, we should be getting new staff soon. It is in my prayers (yes, that is what I said, prayers) among other things.

cabed @ 2007-08-29T09:17:00

2007-08-29T13:17:38Z

you are paleturquoise
#AFEEEE

Your dominant hues are green and blue. You're smart and you know it, and want to use your power to help people and relate to others. Even though you tend to battle with yourself, you solve other people's conflicts well.

Your saturation level is low - You stay out of stressful situations and advise others to do the same. You may not be the go-to person when something really needs done, but you know never to blow things out of proportion.

Your outlook on life is bright. You see good things in situations where others may not be able to, and it frustrates you to see them get down on everything.

the spacefem.com html color quiz

frustration

2007-08-29T13:15:43Z

Today, I dropped off my car at the dealership in Valley Stream in hopes that they will be able to finally fix my car. About two weeks ago, my air-bag light came on and I brought it to a dealership near me at school. They do their thing and return it to me without the airbag light on. I was happy. About 4 days later, it is on again. I return and they do pretty much the same thing. I try and ask some questions about it, but don't seam to get anywhere. I leave feeling unsatisfied. Two days later, it is on yet again! GAAAAAAAAAAh. It was frustrating. So, I make some phone calls on Monday and I get an appointment with the dealership here in Valley Stream so they can take alook at it and hopefully finally fix the problem. I have faith in them, since they were truly have left a great impression last time that I went to them. They are a nice dealership. Almost sounds like that can never be, but the staff there takes their time to answer questions and have a great sense of humor. In the words of V, they are Spiffy to the fullest.

cabed @ 2007-07-16T22:59:00

2007-07-17T03:01:47Z

Currently up in Montreal. Having a blast. Saw the World of the Bodies exhibit. twas ok, nothing too exciting but was good to see once and that is it. Had dinner at a French restuaruant. More to come, I guess. Then friday down to Maryland.

Update

2007-06-30T03:40:11Z

Ok, so summer classes are over. I've been bothered by the mother being over her getting a new computer and being utterly useless when it comes to knowing anything about technology. Furthermore, her lack of understanding that I only went home to help her out with whatever questions and so on is baffling. She asked Dell and gateway so many questions that I myself can answer in my sleep. Furthermore, her complete and utter lack of decision making is even more baffling. Le Sigh. Now that she has a computer that she is now officially getting, for the time being, the next step is a printer. A plain old printer isn't good enough, so now she wants and all-in-one. Bah. So many questions, so much yelling. Why can't she just open her ears and pay attention to the words I am speaking. Am I speaking French instead of English? I mean come on, I don't even know French.

Anyway, other than that rant, I have joined Snapfish. it be a nifty website for posting and ordering and developing pics. Check it out, let me know if you have an account, I share some goodness if I think you likes.

cabed @ 2007-06-19T16:30:00

2007-06-19T20:36:20Z

Just finished my Anger management class. Funny thing is, it isn't one for me to work on my anger. It was an elective class for school, so I took it. For those that know me, it will take more than a 5 day class to stop being angry with mom. LoL. Now, I am done with classes till September.

106.1 (WBLI)

2007-06-13T03:29:21Z

Ok, so I had gone home yesterday and came back to school today. After having dinner at the house of friends of the family, I drove back. SO, as I was driving back, I switched from Z100 to WBLI and they were talking about wierd named shots and stuff, so by the time I got back to campus, I decided to give a call in cause I remembered a shot that someone had mentioned to me.

I call up, got placed on hold for like 30 seconds, and then got back on the line. They talk to me about the shot, which happened to be named "The Dirty Girl Scout" and I knew they pre-recorded talking to me since I had the radio down low and it had an advertisement going. So by the time I got up to my room, they were in the middle of playing my conversation with them. Which I was loving. But the best part, they used the convo as a seg-way into the next song, which happened to be Rihanna. Wickedness!

cabed @ 2007-05-24T15:38:00

2007-05-24T19:40:49Z

here I am just sitting in Starbucks, drinking my coffee, typing away on my laptop and taking a break from World of Warcraft. Suddenly, it hits me, I have become one of those snobby people (almost). There is only one difference between me and them, I am nice to people. I do not stare and judge. i EVALUATE. LoL

IDK, random thought.

cabed @ 2007-05-23T15:29:00

2007-05-23T19:34:28Z

Well, it has been awhile since I last updated. But i explain. I am a busy ass mother f**ker. I just finished classes like two weeks ago and need a week to chillax. Since my last update, which was whenever long ago, I have been just busy busy busy. Gotta love the full-time grad studen while being a fulltime worker and trying to stay on top of work. But now, I have some time off and then I am taking two summer classes. Won't be as crazy since I won't have field placement.

Oh, and I now have spiffy new laptop. So now I can go to class and have a distraction. LoL. Whatever. it set me back a cool $1700, roughly, but it is worth it. Summer plans as of right now, once the two classes are over (by June 25th or something like that) just work, which will be 3 days a week. In July, I am going to Virginia to see family. Other than that, I am free just for about anything. Possible Montreal trip with friends.

life

2007-03-31T04:19:45Z

Well, next week is Spring Break. Finally, a true vacation where I can actually relax. No school, no field placement, and no work for about 4 days. I'll be spending most of my time in my room sleeping and watching movies.

Something to note:
I happened to meet a person through facebook/aim somehow and we started talking last night. We seemed to hit it off and there signs of possible advancement. I just hope they just don't fade to the background.

cabed @ 2007-03-04T00:39:00

2007-03-04T05:41:08Z

My mind currently feels fried. Two days, 4 shifts, and 4 hours of sleep. One more shift to go at 7am sunday morning. what do I get to do right after? start working on a paper. Wheeee! Yes folks, grad school is everything I dreamt it would be.

BTW, someone take my pulse and blood pressure, I feel clinically dead. But hey, atleast I can diagnose myself for clinical depression! That's if I ever get it. LoL. And I won't have a vacation till the first week of April. Le Sigh.

cabed @ 2007-02-24T00:51:00

2007-02-24T05:53:28Z

Well, it's been a long ass day and it's gonna be a long ass day tomorrow. Today I had a conference I had to attend and then went directly to work afterwards. Tomorrow, I am working from 7am till 7:30pm and going to a friend's place afterwards for Wine and Cheese. Well, atleast it'll be a happy ending to a long day.

cabed @ 2007-02-24T00:51:00

2007-02-24T05:51:25Z

cabed @ 2007-02-13T15:54:00

2007-02-13T20:54:53Z

so, basically, school has been in session for three weeks. Everything has been going ok, I took a stand against my manager for not wanting to do doubles anymore (or atleast for now). As usual, classes are being classes and I could use more 'me' time, but what can you do.

and I have two friends applying to my program, I hope they get in and come to school with me.

cabed @ 2007-01-18T00:05:00

2007-01-18T05:14:44Z

You scored as Romanticist. Romanticism encourages society to look backwards to find our solutions. Your rationale is that things were much better a few hundred years ago so we should thus look back to those times and replace them in our modern society. You believe in a simple life and that the complexities of the modern world have turned it upside down.

</td>

Romanticist

81%

Postmodernist

75%

Cultural Creative

69%

Existentialist

63%

Modernist

63%

Materialist

56%

Idealist

56%

Fundamentalist

44%

What is Your World View?
created with QuizFarm.com

What School Of Magic Are You?
Illusion You are illusion, the art of magical deception. You are probably a bit of a trickster and like to use your wits and intelligence to amuse yourself. People probably get annoyed at you, but that's okay because now they look like a fish. Haha, complain away, talking fish!
Take The Quiz Now!	Quizzes by myYearbook.com

Cancer - Your Love Profile

Your positive traits:

You're intuitive enough to know what's going wrong in a relationship early on
A total sweetheart - you're often the most caring person anyone knows
You are a generous and devoted parter to whoever you fall in love with

Your negative traits:

Insecurity - you tend to need a huge amount of comforting from your partner
You tend to be overly sensitive and easily hurt, which make loving you difficult
It's difficult to predict your moods. One minute you're up - the next you're down.

Your ideal partner:

Someone equally sensitive, who wants to take time to get to know you deeply
Dreams of an everlasting love - complete with marriage and a family
Loves to take care of you. Being a good cook and masseuse doesn't hurt!

Your dating style:

Slow. You enjoy dates that last all day, with plenty of time to talk and get to know one another.

Your seduction style:

Quite tender and loving, once you are comfortable in your relationship.
Coy. You tend to play it cool to drive your lover wild.
Orally talented - you're known as the best kisser in the zodiac.

Tips for the future:

Be a little less sensitive. Not every little mistake should hurt you.
Spend time away from your partner every so often - independence is a good thing.
Find ways to take care of yourself. You'll be happier if you put yourself first.

Best color to attract mate: Aqua

Best day for a date: Wednesday

What's Your Love Profile?

Never Date a Cancer

Clingy, emotional, and very private - it's hard to escape a Cancer's clutches.
And while Cancer will want to know everything about you, they're anything but open in return.

Instead try dating: Leo, Sagittarius, Gemini, or Aquarius

What Sign Shouldn't You Date?

cabed @ 2007-01-17T23:55:00

2007-01-18T04:55:19Z

You mean I have some free time for once?

2006-12-24T15:23:30Z

So yes. I am now starting to post on LJ again. As usual, my posts are infrequent at best. But, for those who know me, they understand. But for those not in the know, here is a quick update of my life for the majority of the Fall semester. I was practically working full time hours over a three day span and then going to school (with field placement) over the other four days full time. Days that I had off? None. How many times I felt like ripping off the head of my manager for now hiring someone else to take the hours? I've lost count.

But yes, my manager really needs to hire a new person. My ass is tired and probably cannot work any more doubles on both saturday and sunday. I took this job last december as a part timer, not a full timer. :::sigh::: New managers that are incompitent when it comes to good manager skills are the bane of my exsistence.

cabed @ 2006-10-28T00:05:00

2006-10-28T04:10:49Z

well. it has been awhile since I last updated. Why almost a month? Well, life sucks as we all know. and it double sucks for me. I've been working Friday nights as well lately other than my usual Saturday and Sunday shifts. I've also been putting a lot of extra hours because of some staffing issues and what not. Plus, with grad school and all the fun stuff that brings, I've had very little free time to myself. When I do have free time, I am usually relaxing by playing my game, World of Warcraft for those that have forgotten.

What brought this update you may ask? Well, one of the guys at the house I work at is in the hospital. He went in yesterday with double, yes double, pnemonia. Fun shit. Especially for him since he is already frail as it is. It has yet again made me think about life as it is. Since the begining of the year, I have already had three family members die, two from cancer. Since this one consumer has become like family to me, in a way, it's just been kinda wierd.

Se la vie, I guess. (if that is how you spell it.)

SOSDD

2006-10-06T03:43:19Z

Ok, so it has been awhile since I have written anything. But there is good reason. I no longer have any social life. When I do not have classes, I have field placement. When I do not have field placement, I am working. If I am not working, I am doing a double shift at work. If I am not doing a double shift, I am trying to catch up with reading for my classes.

It has been an interesting couple of weeks of being extremely busy. Currently trying to update my personal website. But I have no time to do that right now. All I do have so far is a new banner I made to use. I think it's quite nifty.

Oh! and I still have yet to put all of my posters up in my apartment, even though I have been here a month. That shows you how busy I am. Plus, I've been playing a lot of World of Warcraft to defrag each day. Trust me, I need to forget about life now and then.

So yeah. I am tired, busy, and as always, a single white male. What else is new?

cabed @ 2006-09-01T23:41:00

2006-09-02T03:49:43Z

I was having somewhat of an OK day today. I was awaken by my mother, for some stupid reason and I couldn't get back to sleep. So I stayed up, had some coffee and eggs and watched some TV. I played some World of Warcraft and then I stated to get ready to come back out to stony brook. all I have left at home is my fridge, which will be brought out here on Wednesday.

My cousin came in this evening from Virginia, but since I am school, I didn't get to see him. I will be on Sunday though.

This evening, though, was going pretty good. Picked up my friends apartment keys for him, saw my friend Em and then came to pick up some wine and flavored vodka. Later this evening, I met up with my friend Meg and we went grocery shopping. On our way to 7-11, my night took a turn for the worst. My windshield somehow got cracked. All we know is that we heard a load "CRACK!" which scared us both like there was no tomorrow. I pulled over when I was able to and we saw that there was a crack in the window. GRRRRRR!

So, I called my dad, told him. But there isn't really much I could do till Tuesday since I don't think any place will be open till then. Good thing I have full glass through my insurance. My dad suggested that I put some tape on the inside of the window even though it should be fine since it didn't crack all the way through. But, me being the worrisome about my car (it's my first car which makes me love it all that much more) I didn't want any water getting in (or I am atleast worried about the possibility). But, my dad assured me that since it did not crack all the way through, I will be fine and that I should just drive caustiously not to crack it more; I guess because of speed and bumps. :::sigh:::

cabed @ 2006-08-28T11:32:00

2006-08-28T15:43:55Z

Ok, so it has been awhile since I have posted anything of note. But, that is because my life has been crazy and with a lot of driving around. Back on Tuesday, I moved into my apartment out at Stony Brook. The day before that, I had to take my dad to the airport since he had to go to San Diego for a death in the family. But!, over last weekend, I had the chance to see my good friend V and Amanda and her gorgeous baby Catherine (I hope that is the way she spells it). :::enter a seinfeld sound cue "Jerry! You've got to see the baby!"::: What was quite interesting about last weekend was that on my way out to work the next morning at the buttcrack of dawn, I had stopped by 7-11 for some coffee in town and ran into Amanda's boyfriend. Small world? Ha ha ha, you are not even kidding. I also know his brother through school. I like know the entire family practically.

Anyway. That was last weekend, this weekend, I work about 25 hours over two days. I'm wiped out. but I got to sleep in today. But daddy is getting picked up from the airport at around 11 tonight. Ahhh the joys of life.

Tomorrow, I have a staff meeting and Wednesday I have an orientation thingy for School. Am I nervous about starting my master's? Not really. I think if anything, just anxious to get it started. That's about it.

Well, that's it for now. more later.

What kinda sex do you like?
Name
DOB
Favourite Color
Times you want to fuck a day..	10
Fav. position	doggy style
How you like it	please be gentle
Where do you like doing it	in the bed
how good are you?	you make them moan for more

This Quiz by sixmilesleft - Taken 1463 Times. </a>